24 March 2010

Women, the best firewall in the world

From reddit:

  1. One human cell contains 75MB genetic information.
  2. One sperm contains a half of that; that is 37.5MB.
  3. One ml of semen contains 100 million sperms.
  4. In average, ejaculation lasts for 5 sec and contains 2.25 ml semen.
  5. This means that the throughput of a man's member is equal to (37.5MB x 100’000’000 x 2.25) / 5 = 1’687’500’000’000’000byte/second = 1.6875 Тerabyte/sec

This means that the female eggcell withstands this DDoS attack at 1.5 terabyte per second, and only lets through one (!) data package, thereby being the best freaking hardware firewall in the world!

The downside of it is that this only small data package that it lets through, hangs the system for the whole of 9 months!


- No man, it hangs the system for 20+ years.

-- Sounds like someone needs to call helpdesk.

--- nah, you just need a reboot.

- It better be good it took 3.5 billion years to program.

-- You misspelled '7 days' and 'create'.

--- I think the 7th day was compile time.

- It's not a firewall, it's the worst router ever. I mean 99.999999999% packet loss is pretty bad.

- "5.This means that the throughput of a man's member is equal to ... 1.6875 Тerabyte/se" But it's mostly redundant data. Women are such TERRIBLE biological routers that you have to send hundreds of millions of packets just to get the signal through.

- The throughput is only that high because the transmission protocol is so inefficient. If you broke down the man's 75MB source code into its 46 fundamental segments and indexed them, you could fully describe each individual sperm with a 3 byte key. That reduces the bandwidth by about seven orders of magnitude.

-- That's fucking brilliant. Why haven't you cured cancer yet?